By Pia Scaglione, Psy.D., the Counseling Center
Oct. 30, 2019: The decision to start a family is an important milestone in the lives of many adults. Often the anticipation of creating a new generation represents the final shift away from one’s own childhood. While this decision is almost always made with a mix of excitement and some ambivalence, when something gets in the way of the expected trajectory, such as infertility or pregnancy loss, a person’s sense of self and identity can suffer a real injury.
A diagnosis of infertility can be the result of many factors, including age related fertility decline, previous medical treatments such as radiation or chemotherapy, or specific fertility related medical issues such as low sperm count/mobility or hormonal/structural issues. Discovering that one’s fertility is not intact can have an impact on a person’s emotional wellbeing, sense of agency, and relationships with family and friends.
By the time the decision has been made to pursue fertility treatment there are likely to have been numerous psychological impacts. In order to begin treatment for infertility a couple must have been trying to conceive unsuccessfully for a year, or for six months in women over the age of 35. During the period of time preceding fertility treatment, couples often experience excitement and hopeful anticipation, followed by disappointment when pregnancy does not occur. Feelings of shame, loss of trust in one’s body, and grief are just a few of the difficulties patients may be struggling with before fertility treatment has even begun.
Some common themes emerge for couples dealing with infertility, including a wish to be “normal,” and shame regarding not living up to traditional gender expectations. There can be interference with intimacy, where sexual activity becomes perfunctory or scientifically timed rather than arising from a desire for pleasure and intimacy. Couples may have different reactions or coping styles, which can create or intensify emotional distance. Feelings of failure can arise, which can lead to a loss of self-esteem. The feelings of failure can be as profound for men as they are for women when pregnancy is unattainable.
Couples who decided to delay having a child for professional reasons may feel guilty for waiting and may blame themselves for their difficulty conceiving. When fertility patients are high achievers, the inability to become pregnant or maintain pregnancy can have a profound impact on their sense of themselves as capable and competent, which may have been central to their identity.
While undergoing fertility treatment, many patients and couples experience isolation from friends who are pregnant or from those who already have young children. It can be very painful to watch friends who are immersed in their own new families. Baby showers can feel like salt in a deep wound. It can be difficult to hear well-meaning friends and family make statements that are meant to be encouraging but are actually insensitive and hurtful: “Why don’t you just adopt?” “Stop stressing and you will get pregnant.” “Are you eating the right foods?” “Are you sure you aren’t over-exercising?” While social media can provide individuals and couples undergoing fertility treatment with a sense of community with others who share their situation, it can also become a source of significant pain; often the couple perceives that the ability to have children comes easily to others, making them feel more isolated.
Psychological difficulties that may arise include intense feelings of anger, depression, and anxiety about interventions and treatment outcomes. Additionally, the medications used in fertility treatment can have side effects that impact emotional functioning and intensify these feelings, particularly in patients with a history of hormonal sensitivity or psychiatric diagnoses, including anxiety and/or mood disorders. The psychological impact is often overlooked by medical teams as patients are subjected to numerous tests, monitoring and physical interventions.
Even as they may welcome the possibility of having a child that is genetically related to one partner, LBGTQ patients face their own unique stressors. If the couple decides to pursue fertility treatment, they must make a multitude of decisions, including which partner’s gametes are used, who will carry the child (one of the partners or a surrogate), and using a known versus unknown donor. Infertility treatment has historically been targeted primarily at heterosexual couples, and LGBTQ couples may still face judgement and discrimination within their social circles, and even in medical communities. There may also be legal questions to consider, including access to treatment and insurance coverage, custody, etc. Single parents by choice may face similar challenges, including judgment and barriers to treatment.
Fertility treatment includes a broad spectrum of interventions, from drug therapies to more advanced technologies, including IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). Treatment success is not guaranteed, and even when treatment is successful, anxieties and a compromised sense of self may continue. When initial attempts at treatment are not successful, deciding when to stop treatment can be a source of conflict for a couple. When fertility treatment is successful, it is common for a woman to feel that she has somehow forfeited the right to complain in any way about the very real stresses of pregnancy and early motherhood. After all, she went to great lengths to start this family.
Overall, fertility patients are often a high functioning group in a highly stressful situation. Psychotherapy can be very helpful as patients navigate difficult medical and emotional terrain. Planning for the future and having conversations with children regarding disclosure of donor conception can be particularly important when using third party reproduction/donor gametes. Thoughts and feelings that arise during the process and beyond can be explored in treatment, support and education can be provided, and coping skills/styles can be addressed to help manage the stress on the individual and couple. Seeing a therapist who is knowledgeable regarding the issues facing patients undergoing fertility treatment can help make a stressful period much less difficult.
At the Counseling Center in Westchester, we can provide support and guidance to help couples manage the issues and anxieties associated with fertility treatment affecting your daily life.
Pictured: Pia Scaglione
Photo courtesy the Counseling Center
Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.
Ballet Arts-The Performing Arts Center of Southern Westchester
Established in 1977, Ballet Arts-The Performing Arts Center of Southern Westchester offers a complete program of Performing Arts education for all ages. 28 teachers conduct over 60 classes per week including Ballet with piano accompaniment, Jazz, Ballroom, Tap, Irish Step, Lyrical Dance and Hip-Hop. New this spring is Creative Movement and Story Time Dance for 2 and 3 year old boys and girls. Fitness classes include Zumba, Pilates & personal training. Classes are available for students ages 2 to Adult in every skill level. Private Dance, Voice & Instrument Lessons at our studio or in your home are available by appointment. Seasonal and Summer Performing Arts Camps.
Themed Birthday Parties-Children and parents enjoy play dance and music with our staff-you have fun and we'll clean up.
Centre Stage is our on site Dance, Gymnastics, Ice Skating and Fitness Apparel and Accessories Boutique. Specialty Dance footwear, Unique Costumes, Gifts and Collectables.
Sheran Daniele, Founder & Artistic Director.
504 Fifth Avenue, Pelham
914 738 8300
www.ballet-arts.net
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Greenburgh Nature Center
The Greenburgh Nature Center is a 33-acre wooded preserve in Scarsdale, New York. It has trails, pond, gardens and a live animal museum. They offer birthday party packages.
http://greenburghnaturecenter.org/
99 Dromore Road Scarsdale,
New York 10583
914-723-3470
Groove
Groove is a “family-friendly music and arts studio offering eclectic, enriching programs and events for kids and their grown-ups.” They offer a variety of fun classes and also have a birthday party program.
157 Larchmont Avenue
Larchmont, New York 10538
914-834-3383
GymCats Gymnastics
Gymcats is an 8700 sq. foot fully equipped facility that has been serving Westchester for over 30 years. They offer beginner through advanced gymnastics instruction for girls & boys ages 18 months & up. They also offer birthday parties, private lessons and summer camp. Their friendly and energetic staff is always focused on SAFETY, FITNESS & FUN. "Our goal at GymCats Gymnastics is to build a physical and mental foundation for all sports and to promote athleticism and good health through participation in gymnastics."
GymCats Gymnastics
One Odell plaza, Yonkers, 10701
Exit 9 off the Saw mill River Pkwy.
914-965-7676
www.gymcats.net
Hampton Balloon & Party Rental
Hampton Balloon & Party Rental is not just in the Hamptons anymore. We also serve Westchester and Fairfield Counties.
Our thirty-three year old business has grown to be the largest supplier of entertainment on the Eastern End of Long Island and is rapidly growing in Westchester and Fairfield County!
We provide balloons & decorating, mechanical rides and props, rental equipment, linens and more! We also do school and corporate events.
Contact Us today and let us help you make your event a big success!
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
website
631-283-4646
Lawrence Farms Orchards
Lawrence Farms Orchards is a family owned and operated fruit and vegetable farm in Newburgh, New York. They offer “pick your own” fruits and vegetable and have a “Little Village” reminiscent of an old fashioned New England town. They have festive holiday events and offer birthday party packages.
http://www.lawrencefarmsorchards.com/
39 Colandrea Road
Newburgh, New York 12550
845-562-4268
Little Gym
The Little Gym offers movement, music, gymnastics and much more to help develop motor skills in young children. They have various locations, the closest of which is in Scarsdale. They also offer birthday party packages.
http://www.thelittlegym.com/ScarsdaleNY/Pages/default.aspx
777 White Plains Road,
Shoppes at Eastchester Scarsdale,
New York 10583
914-722-0072
Maritime Aquarium at Norwalk (CT)
For an "otterly cool" birthday, celebrate at The Maritime Aquarium in nearby Norwalk, CT. Party packages for children ages 4 to 12 include a private room you can decorate; your own tour of the Aquarium's exhibits, animals and touch tanks; a craft and a special tee-shirt for the birthday boy or girl so everyone will know he or she "seal-a-brated" at the Aquarium. Food available from our on-site caterer or bring your own. Traveling Birthday Parties: the Aquarium can come to you. Invite some crabs and critters to your home for a birthday party your guests won't soon forget! Children will have a great time, get to touch the animals and learn something too. Reservations required.
10 North Water Street
Norwalk, Connecticut 06854
Website
Reservations: 203-852-0700, ext. 2206.
Musical Munchkins
Musical Munchkins helps children ages 6 months to four years learn "the fundamentals and joy of music." They have a number of locations, the closest of which is at the Asbury Church on Scarsdale Road. They offer a variety of fun classes and also have a birthday party program.
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
914-771-7000
Bronxville/Crestwood Location:
Asbury Church
167 Scarsdale Road @ Bronx River Parkway
Director: Eileen Oddo
Office Address: 40 Archer Avenue, White Plains, NY
The Nature of Things
The Nature of Things, begun in 1982, is “an environmental outreach program that presents quality live animal presentations to schools and centers throughout the greater Metropolitan areas in New York and Connecticut. They can also help you celebrate a child’s birthday “with animals from all over the globe.” You provide the location and they will bring the animals. The birthday parties are one hour and include 10 to 12 live animals, songs and games.
http://thenatureofthings.com/
7 Super Hill Road
North Salem, NY 10560
914-276-3454
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Bronxville Public Library
The Bronxville Public Library offers story hours for young children and other special events. All of the Children ’s Room programs for young children require registration in person one week in advance.
201 Pondfield Road (Midland Avenue & Pondfield Road)
914-337-7680
Huguenot Childrens' Library
The Huguenot Childrens' Library is housed in a charming brick structure built in 1869 - - “the first brick house in New Rochelle.” The Library includes “books, computers and activities just for kids.” Outside the Library is a “new, state-of-the-art playground.” You can spend part of the morning enjoying the Library and the rest at the playground. If you’re lucky, the ice cream truck will arrive, providing an extra special treat for the kids.
794 North Avenue
New Rochelle, New York
914-632-7878
Tuckahoe Public Library
The Tuckahoe Public Library makes for a fun outing for toddlers. The Children ’s section of the library includes a train set as well as computers and puzzles set out on low tables. There are many books that are displayed and easily accessible for reading to your toddler. The Library also offers special events and programs for children.
71 Columbus Avenue
Tuckahoe, New York 10707
914-961-2121
914-231-3151
Website
White Plains Public Library
The White Plains Public Library has a great children ’s section called “The Trove.” It includes a special area for toddlers and young children with a play kitchen, interactive toys, computers and books. It also has an activity room where children can do crafts such as decorating paper animals. There is much to keep a young child occupied and stimulated. The Library also offers numerous programs for children of all ages.
100 Maritime Avenue
White Plains, New York 10601
914-422-1476
Ballet Arts-The Performing Arts Center of Southern Westchester
Established in 1977, Ballet Arts-The Performing Arts Center of Southern Westchester offers a complete program of Performing Arts education for all ages. 28 teachers conduct over 60 classes per week including Ballet with piano accompaniment, Jazz, Ballroom, Tap, Irish Step, Lyrical Dance and Hip-Hop. New this spring is Creative Movement and Story Time Dance for 2 and 3 year old boys and girls. Fitness classes include Zumba, Pilates & personal training. Classes are available for students ages 2 to Adult in every skill level. Private Dance, Voice & Instrument Lessons at our studio or in your home are available by appointment. Seasonal and Summer Performing Arts Camps. Themed Birthday Parties-Children and parents enjoy play dance and music with our staff-you have fun and we'll clean up.
Centre Stage is our on site Dance, Gymnastics, Ice Skating and Fitness Apparel and Accessories Boutique. Specialty Dance footwear, Unique Costumes, Gifts and Collectables.
Sheran Daniele, Founder & Artistic Director.
504 Fifth Avenue, Pelham
914 738 8300
www.ballet-arts.net
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Concordia Conservatory
Concordia Conservatory, a preeminent center for music education in Westchester County, is a welcoming community where children and adults find lifelong inspiration and joy through learning, performing, listening to, and participating with others in music. Concordia Conservatory, a community outreach division of Concordia College, offers top quality music programs for early childhood, youth, adults and seniors. The Conservatory's vision is to enrich the lives of the people in our community through music.
Executive Director: Kathleen Suss
Concordia Conservatory of Music & Art
Concordia College-New York
Phone: 914-395-4507
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Crestwood Music Education Center
Crestwood Music Education Center, founded in 1987, has established itself as one of the most reputable and premier music schools in Westchester County with well over 800 students studying piano, guitar voice, Suzuki and much more. Their philosophy is to create a very positive, stimulating environment that gives each student the chance for creative self-expression. They believe in the importance of having a world-class faculty with extensive education as well as the teaching and performing experience that can only found in America's finest music schools.
453 White Plains Road
Eastchester, New York 10709
914-961-3497
Groove
Groove is a “family-friendly music and arts studio offering eclectic, enriching programs and events for kids and their grown-ups.” They offer a variety of fun classes and also have a birthday party program.
Website
914-834-3383
157 Larchmont Avenue (closest class location)
Larchmont, New York 10538
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Director: Lesley Barovick
Hoff-Barthelson Music School
Hoff-Barthelson Music School is one of the largest community music schools in the country, serving more than 1,800 students. They offer after school and Saturday music programs and have a robust list of offerings. They also have programs aimed at young children from newborn to six years.
914-723-1159
25 School Lane
Scarsdale, New York 10583
Website
Director: Joan Behrens Bergman
Little Gym
The Little Gym offers movement, music, gymnastics and much more to help develop motor skills in young children. They have various locations, the closest of which is in Scarsdale. They also offer birthday party packages.
914-722-0072
777 White Plains Road
Shoppes at Eastchester
Scarsdale, New York 10583
Musical Munchkins of Westchester
Musical Munchkins helps children ages 6 months to four years learn “the fundamentals and joy of music.” They have a number of locations, the closest of which is at the Asbury Church on Scarsdale Road. They offer a variety of fun classes and also have a birthday party program.
info@musicalmunchkins.com
914-771-7000
Bronxville/Crestwood Location:
Asbury Church
167 Scarsdale Road @ Bronx River Parkway
Director: Eileen Oddo
Office Address: 40 Archer Avenuel, White Plains, NY
Over the Moon Music and More
Over the Moon Music and More is part of Music Together. Their goal is to “build on your child’s natural enthusiasm for music and movement” and “help provide your child with the basic musical skills needed to enjoy school and social musical activities, and to study and instrument should he or she choose to do so.” Their classes are for children from birth through kindergarten age; there are also a couple of Big Kids classes for 5, 6 and 7-year olds. They also have a program called Uke U which is a mommy-and-me ukelele class for children from 3 to 6 years of age. They have a number of locations, the closest of which is at the Tuckahoe Public Library.
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
914-722-2025 (Jackie Freimor)
Tuckahoe Public Library (closest class location)
71 Columbus Avenue
Tuckahoe, New York 10707
www.overthemoonmusicandmore.com
Contact: Jackie Freimor
Scarsdale Ballet Studio
The Scarsdale Ballet Studio “offers classical ballet training” to students of all levels ages three and up. Students who are enrolled in ballet classes may also study Pointe, Variations, Jazz, Lyrical Dance and Contemporary Ballet (a fusion of classical ballet, jazz and modern dance)
914-725-8754
696R White Plains Road
Scarsdale, NY 10583 (Near Lord and Taylor in the Vernon Hills Shopping Center)
Website
Artistic Director: Diana White
Shake, Rattle & Roll
Now Available at the Bronxville Women's Club! Super musical fun! Multicultural, high-energy music/dance classes for babies, toddlers and big kids (birth-6 yrs.) and their parent/caregiver. Lots of original, exciting, swinging music to sing, jump, twirl, bop and play to. We sing in many languages and use instruments from around the world to explore the rhythm and beat.
Free Trial Class through June 5 - Summer Session in Bronxville begins June 14 - Register Now!
Bronxville Women's Club
also Scarsdale, Pelham, New Rochelle & Larchmont Locations
(914) 813-0743
www.shakerattleandrollmusic.com
The Diller-Quaile School of Music
Founded in 1920, the mission of the Diller-Quaile School of music is ‘to teach music in a way that develops the innate musicality in each student and inspires participation for a lifetime.” The School has an Early Childhood Department that “introduces small groups of children - - ranging in age from infants through seven years - - to music-making and visual art.”
Email
212-369-1484
24 East 95th Street
New York, New York 10128
Website
Contact for Early Childhood Department: Dorothy Appleton
Bronx Zoo
Founded in 1988, the Bronx Zoo is part of the New York landscape. The Zoo features over 4,000 animals and includes a Congo Gorilla Forest, a Himalayan Highlands Habitat and an indoor Asian rain forest. It is always a fun place for an outing. The Zoo is located at Exit 6 off the Bronx River Parkway.
718-367-1010 – General Information
718-220-5100 – Zoo Switchboard
Website
Central Park Zoo
A visit to the Central Park Zoo can be part of a day “in the city” that can include a nice stroll through Central Park, a visit to the Zoo, lunch with some friends and play time in one of the Park’s wonderful playgrounds. The Zoo includes a rain forest, an Antarctic penguin habitat and the Tisch Children’s Zoo. It is easy to navigate and a lot of fun.
64th and 5th in Manhattan
Website
212-439-6500
Children’s Museum of Manhattan
“The mission of the Children's Museum of Manhattan (CMOM) is to inspire children and families to learn about themselves and our culturally diverse world through a unique environment of interactive exhibitions and programs.” The Museum offers many exhibits for children and also offers Early Childhood Classes (14 months to 3 years) and Enrichment Classes (3 to 7 years). It is a great outing for you and your children.
The Tisch Building
212 West 83rd Street
New York, New York 10024
212-721-1234
Greenburgh Nature Center
The Greenburgh Nature Center is a 33-acre wooded preserve in Scarsdale, New York. It has trails, pond, gardens and a live animal museum. It tends to be best for older toddlers and young children.
Executive Director: William Lawyer
99 Dromore Road
Scarsdale, New York 10583
Website
914-723-3470
Lawrence Farms Orchards
Lawrence Farms Orchards is a family owned and operated fruit and vegetable farm in Newburgh, New York. They offer “pick your own” fruits and vegetables and have a “Little Village reminiscent of an old fashioned New England town.” They also have festive holiday events. Take a look at the website or call before you go to see what they are picking and what special events are planned.
39 Colandrea Road
Newburgh, New York 12550
http://www.lawrencefarmsorchards.com/
845-562-4268
Maritime Aquarium at Norwalk (CT)
The Maritime Aquarium at Norwalk is great for children of all ages. You can see many marine animals from Long Island Sound and beyond including large sea turtles, sharks, jellyfish, seals and playful river otters. Seal show three times daily. Touch sharks, stingrays and intertidal animals at two touch tanks. Everything is at eye level for a child even if they are in a stroller. IMAX theater shows 40-minute nature films on a screen six-stories tall. Aquarium play space where kids burn off extra energy while big people rest. On-site cafeteria-style restaurant. If you want to make it a full day, after you finish at the Maritime Aquarium, take a short ride over to Stepping Stones Museum for Children (see separate listing for more information). There is also a very nice playground called Devon's Place right next to the Stepping Stones Museum.
10 North Water Street
Norwalk, Connecticut 06854
Website
203-852-0700
New York Botanical Gardens
The New York Botanical Gardens is a nice place to go for a scenic stroll with a baby, particularly if there is a special exhibit in the Gardens. It is also a great place to bring school-age children, who can enjoy the “Adventure Garden” or one of the many special events for children. Finally, the Gardens’ puts on a special electric train exhibit during the Christmas holidays which is great fun for children and adults.
200th Street and Kazimiroff Boulevard
Bronx, New York 10468-5126
http://www.nybg.org/
718-817-8700
Museum of Modern Art
The Museum of Modern Art in Manhattan is another fun place to take a baby for a stroll. You’ll enjoy seeing a new exhibit and your child will enjoy the stimulation of a new experience. Take the train to Grand Central and take a nice walk up to the Museum. Spend a couple hours taking in everything it has to offer. 11 West 53rd Street (between 5th and 6th Avenues) New York, New York 10019-5497 www.Moma.org 212-708-9400
Stepping Stones Museum for Children
The Stepping Stones Museum for Children features “interactive exhibits, educational programs and fun for the whole family.” They have a toddler-only gallery where your children can climb on soft blocks. They also have many hands-on exhibits that your child will enjoy, including one room filled with flowing water and colorful balls. This summer they had an outdoor bubbles exhibit where kids could enjoy blowing bubbles into the air. This is a “must do” outing.
Mathews Park
303 West Avenue
Norwalk, Connecticut
Website
203-899-0606
Stone Barns Center for Food and Agriculture
Stone Barns Center for Food and Agriculture is a “non-profit farm, educational center and restaurant.” Its mission is to “demonstrate, teach and promote sustainable, community-based food production.” They offer educational programs for children K-12 and have a Harvest Festival in October (October 13, 2007) which is fun for the whole family. The restaurant is called Blue Hill at Stone Barns and offers guests “a taste of the farm.”
630 Bedford Road
Pocantico Hills, New York 10591
Website
914-366-6200
Wave Hill
Wave Hill is a 28-acre public garden and cultural center in the Bronx overlooking the Hudson River and Palisades. It has a wonderful history. For example, Wave Hill House was originally a country home. It was rented by Theodore Roosevelt`s family in 1870 and 1871 and by Mark Twain from 1901 to 1903. It was deeded to NYC in 1960. It has beautiful gardens and many educational programs. It even offers family art projects. It is a lovely place for a stroll in the spring.
West 249th Street and Independence Avenue (front gate)
675 West 252nd Street (mailing)
Bronx, NY 10471-2899
718.549.3200
Website
Bryant Park
If you’re planning a day trip to New York City, you might want to consider making a visit to Bryant Park. Located an easy walk from Grand Central, the Park offers a french-style Carousel and an outdoor reading room, which holds reading programs for kids and has kid-sized furniture. The Park also has a skating pond for some winter fun.
The Park is situated behind the New York Public Library in midtown Manhattan, between 40th and 42nd Streets & Fifth and Sixth Avenues
212-768-4242
Bronxville School Playground
The Bronxville School has an 8-acre area that includes playing fields, a track and a playground. The playground includes swings, slides, climbing rocks and other equipment. It is particularly well suited for school age children.
177 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
River Lake Park
River Lake Park is the 21-acre park that extends along the western edge of Bronxville, bordering the Bronx River. It includes a path for walking and biking. It is a nice place for a stroll with babies and young toddlers who will enjoy seeing the ducks and geese on the River and watching others biking and running.
Sagamore Park
Sagamore Park is a .63 acre playground located on the east side of Sagamore Road. The playground includes slides, swings, a sandbox, a basketball hoop and some open space to ride on the push toys that are left in the park for all to use. It is great for babies and young toddlers.
Main Street Park in Tuckahoe
This is a small "no frills" park on the end of Main Street in Tuckahoe that is closer to the Mobil Station. It has a small jungle gym with two slides and a swing set with two baby swings and one regular swing. The park is small and contained and appropriate for young toddlers.
Tutoring
EJG Educational Consulting
Tutoring, Personalized Study Programs,
Test Preparation, Admissions Assistance
4 Pondview Lane
Bronxville Heights, New York
Elena Geba
914.793.9813
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Click on the link below to go to the MyhometownBronxville Community Sports & Fitness page which includes information about all sports and fitness activities for adults and children.