By TR Gourmand

April 1, 2022: Back in May of 2021 the Bronxville Village Trustees voted to ban any marijuana stores from opening in the village after it was legalized in NY state. At that time it was felt that such a business might attract an unsavory clientele and make pot too easily accessible to village teenagers. Then COVID hit, reducing shopping in brick and mortar stores and online ordering surged, hurting many Bronxville businesses who were already struggling under the onslaught of Amazon. Last week the trustees met with Bronxville Chamber of Commerce and the commercial real estate agent who has been working to fill several vacant stores and they came to an agreement to allow a marijuana dispensary to open in the space formerly occupied by Love My Shoes.

Mayor Mary Marvin explained “I can assure you we agonized for many hours over this decision, but in the end decided that the blight of an empty store and the substantial tax revenue were very strong incentives for us to approve this addition to our village businesses. I spoke to some other mayors in Westchester county who have dispensaries in their towns and none have reported any quality of life issues other than an influx of aging hippies wearing those hideous looking Grateful Dead tie dye shirts. Also, since pot is known to stimulate the appetite, I anticipate that our restaurants will benefit from an uptick in business."

MHTB reached out to the owners of the store which will open in June to find out more about their plans. The husband and wife team, Sasha and Oz Verully will be moving this month to Bronxville with their two young children and said “we are thrilled to be opening our pot store in such an idyllic little village. We are aware that Bronxville shoppers have very high standards and so we look forward to providing only the best, locally sourced, 100% organic marijuana.” The couple added “ in addition to the dispensary the store will feature a small hookah lounge which will only be open in the evening and will showcase live belly dancing. We will also be offering belly dancing lessons to any Bronxville women who want to engage in a little navel exercise.”

Originally the Verullys had the idea of calling the store Bronxville High, but the trustees were concerned about a negative association with the school and how it might affect its national ranking, so they settled on the clever name Bongsville High. Oz even mentioned that he intends to create a special offering of a cannabis variety grown on Long Island with a distinctive kick that he plans to call “The Bronco.” The store will hold monthly “smokings” in its wood paneled cellar during which customers will be able to sample thoughtfully curated new varieties. Home delivery will be available to Bronxville residents who might be hesitant to be seen coming out of the store.

MHTB was interested to get the reaction of some other businesses in the village to their new future neighbor. Cecil Bond, the manager of the men’s clothing store Harry, thought “it will definitely add to Bronxville’s cool factor.” He plans to add a line of gold and silver roach clips to their offerings. Jack Duncan, the manager of the CVS, said he will be stocking up on Visine as soon as Bongsville High opens. Bronxville Stationers will be adding a new line of paper products to their inventory. Topps Bakery expects to see an influx of customers looking to gorge themselves on their giant Black and White cookies. The only concern was expressed by Victor Crandall, manager of Value Drugs, who was worried that “people coming to Bronxville to buy marijuana might erroneously think his store was selling less expensive pot.”

Bronxville Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Shannon Gangemi remarked “our objective has always been to bring businesses to our village that contribute to the happiness of our residents, and with the addition of Bongsville High I firmly believe we have accomplished that!”

Happy April Fools Day!