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Mistakes During the Teen Years: An Essential Tool for Growth PDF Print Email

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By Jane Benjamin, PhD, Clinical Director, The Counseling Center


Apr. 17, 2018:  Parents often tell their teenage children, “I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”  But giving them the freedom to make mistakes, and face the consequences, is a key to good parenting, and to raising healthy kids.

It’s natural to want to spare our children pain, both physical and emotional. In early childhood development this protective instinct is focused on keeping a child safe in the most basic ways: “Don’t run…you will fall.” “Don’t touch the stove…it’s hot and you’ll get burned.”  “Don’t go anywhere with a stranger…” etc. And of course, this protectiveness is essential for a child’s safety; it’s a basic responsibility of good parenting.

We live in an era of raising safe children. Homes are “childproofed.” There are helmets for every sport, railings on young children’s beds, no peanuts allowed in most nursery schools. In this emphasis on safety lies an embedded message: If you do everything right, your child should not get hurt; pain is preventable.

Things become more complicated when a child becomes an adolescent. As the basic safety needs of childhood become less salient, other more complex issues take their place: Is my son developing healthy relationships with peers who are “good kids?” Is my daughter taking responsibility for her academic life? Are drugs and alcohol becoming a problem? Are my kids acting responsibly in response to their burgeoning sexuality? The list goes on and on. But unlike in the early childhood years when the parent’s role as protector is fairly straightforward, the parent of an adolescent has a far more complicated job.

For the adolescent, making mistakes is essential. Adolescence is the developmental period when separation from parents and identity formation are the critical tasks. Adolescents need to experiment, to “try on” different sorts of relationships, different behaviors, and different identities. Naturally, this experimentation will lead to their making mistakes, both small and large.

The adolescent will learn a great deal from these mistakes. Indeed, teenagers have to learn what they aren’t in order to learn what they are. A bad relationship will help a 16-year-old get clear about what kind of partner is truly desirable. Failing to study for a test, and thus “bombing it,” may motivate a 15-year-old to begin to study earlier next time. Being unkind or unfair to a peer, and seeing the hurt feelings that result, might make a 13-year-old feel guilty and decide to apologize. Drinking too much and feeling lousy the next day might encourage a 17-year-old to see that alcohol isn’t so cool after all.

Stumbling gives teens a chance to learn how to make amends for a mistake and to “own” the consequences. How does one apologize? How does one take responsibility? How can the teen’s gut feeling that their action was a mistake begin to build that internal moral compass that is so essential throughout life? The adolescent must bump up against adversity in order to develop as a person, and parents should resist the natural temptation to shield their child from these bumps at any cost. 

So what should parents do when their kids make mistakes? The answer is not to condone the behavior or the decision. This is not about having no rules and being overly lenient and permissive. It is about assuming that rules will be broken, pushed, and circumvented that and consequences must follow. It is about assuming that one’s adolescent will make many wrong choices. And it is about knowing that these mistakes are not the result of a parent’s failure.

The most critically important thing any parent can do is to hear what happened ... and not just from another adult but from the teen. Truly listening and questioning are paramount. The parent should not try to fix the problem for the teenager ... but help the teenager come up with solutions that he or she will implement. Sometimes it helps for the parent to share a similar mistake that he or she made in the past or to suggest another way of looking at a situation. Maintaining communication with the teen is the most helpful thing a parent can do. If a parent only blows up and punishes, the message is really twofold: 1. Mistakes should never be made and 2. Don’t come to me with your mistakes because I will not listen.

There is nothing easy about being a parent of an adolescent. The key lies in anticipating that teens will stumble ... not because something is wrong with them but because healthy development depends on it. 

At the Counseling Center of Bronxville, we help parents and teens solve problems, wrestle with painful or confusing feelings, and navigate through difficult times.

Pictured here:  Jane Benjamin.

Photo courtesy The Counseling Center 
 
 
Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.
 
NewYork-Presbyterian Opens New Sports Performance Institute PDF Print Email

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By Josefa Paganuzzi, Thompson & Bender, for NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital


Apr. 17, 2019:  NewYork-Presbyterian, in collaboration with physicians from Columbia University Irving Medical Center, has launched a state-of-the-art sports medicine and performance training facility in Westchester County that gives patients and athletes access to some of the nation’s top sports medicine doctors, therapists, and elite sports performance coaches--all at a single location.

The NewYork-Presbyterian Sports Performance Institute is a 9,600-square-foot facility located at 693 White Plains Road in the Vernon Place Shops in Scarsdale that brings together sports medicine physicians and surgeons, physical therapists, advanced practice providers, and performance coaches to provide comprehensive and collaborative care for athletes. The institute’s services cater to athletes of all ages and skill levels, from high school athletes to weekend warriors to elite professionals--whether they are looking to enhance their performance, recover from a recent injury and return to sport, or receive medical care to heal a recent injury or relieve pain from a chronic condition. Sports performance training services are powered by EXOS, a national leader in proactive health and performance. 

Overseeing the institute are Dr. William Levine, the Frank E. Stinchfield Professor and chair of the Department of Orthopedic Surgery at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons, chief of orthopedics at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center, and head team physician for Columbia University Athletics; Dr. Christopher Ahmad, professor of orthopedic surgery at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons, chief of sports medicine at NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center, and head team physician for the New York Yankees and New York City Football Club; and Dr. Jeffrey Geller, the Nas S. Eftekhar Professor of Orthopedic Surgery at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons and chief of orthopedic surgery at NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital.

“In developing the institute, we recognized that we had an opportunity to create a unique program that could serve both orthopedic patients and athletes of all ages and performance levels,” said Dr. Levine. “People today are living longer and in a much more active fashion; we want to provide care for people participating in sports activities whether they’re 8 or 80. Working with EXOS enables us to pursue the common goal of providing the highest-quality care to athletes and patients, and we believe the Sports Performance Institute will be the go-to location in the New York region to see orthopedic and sports medicine physicians, receive physical therapy, and learn how to improve one’s sports performance.” 

EXOS has created customized sports training programs for top-tier athletes from Olympic medalists and World Cup and MLS soccer champions to NFL draft picks and national rugby teams. The NewYork-Presbyterian Sports Performance Institute, which fully integrates the sports medicine and orthopedic resources of a leading academic medical center with the most advanced sports training for patients and athletes, is EXOS’s first such venture in the Northeast.

“This will be the first time athletes in the Westchester region will be able to access the services of an academic sports medicine department alongside the training, conditioning, and performance services that are typically only available to professional athletes,” said Dr. Ahmad, who is also vice chair of clinical research in the Department of Orthopedic Surgery at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons. “In the case of high school and college athletes, while they receive extreme coaching, they don't have the same access to injury prevention coupled with their performance. We are changing the paradigm.”

“We are very excited to bring our proven performance system to the region through NewYork-Presbyterian,” stated Amanda Radochonski, senior director of healthcare business and operations at EXOS. “With both EXOS’s and NewYork-Presbyterian’s expertise, we can focus holistically on not only treating injuries but preventing injuries from happening in the first place—supporting the whole athlete and helping them raise their game in the healthiest way. Our goal with this program is to provide and deliver specialized game plans and solutions to individuals of all performance levels to help them achieve higher levels of success every day. We look forward to innovating and advancing the full continuum of care with NewYork-Presbyterian.”

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On-site clinical services and facilities at the institute include medical examination and surgical consultation; diagnostic x-ray and ultrasound; treatment rooms for guided injections and biologic therapies; and casting, orthotics, and brace-fitting.

The sports therapy team utilizes advanced manual therapy techniques alongside specialized therapeutic equipment, including Game Ready® cryotherapy, blood flow restriction equipment, cupping, and instrument-assisted soft tissue mobilization.

Sports performance training services utilize a full spectrum of cutting-edge equipment, including AlterG® Anti-Gravity Treadmill™ with real-time video feedback; Keiser POWER Racks and Functional Trainers with pneumatic air technology; VersaClimbers; and Eleiko weight training sets; as well as equipment for speed, agility, and power training.

If athletes require surgical intervention to repair an injury or address a chronic condition, the Sports Performance Institute is just minutes away from NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital in Bronxville, where Columbia Orthopedics’ world-class surgical team leverages state-of-the-art surgical facilities and advanced technology to perform minimally invasive surgical procedures and provide superior outcomes.

“Our program at NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital offers a full range of operative and non-operative orthopedic care, with specialists in everything from foot and ankle, to hip and knee, to elbows and shoulders,” said Dr. Geller. “We have created a space that makes not only our world-class orthopedic services more accessible, but also offers the latest in sports performance training in a community setting.”

“We are thrilled to bring a first-of-its-kind sports performance institute to Westchester,” said Michael Fosina, MPH, FACHE, president of NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital. “The institute is a natural extension for NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence and ColumbiaDoctors, as we have established ourselves as a leader in orthopedics and sports medicine in Westchester. We remain committed to bringing the very best care to patients in our community.”

To make a medical appointment, consult with a therapist, or sign up for sports performance training sessions, call 914-750-4690.

To learn more about the NewYork-Presbyterian Sports Performance Institute, visit www.nyp.org/sportsinstitute.

Pictured here: top photo (L to R): Linda Vester Greenberg; Michael Fosina, president, NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital; Mariano Rivera; Dr. Christopher Ahmad, chief of sports medicine, NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center; Dr. William Levine, chief of orthopedics, NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center; Dr. Laura Forese, executive vice president and chief operating officer, NewYork-Presbyterian; Dr. Steven J. Corwin, president and chief executive officer, NewYork-Presbyterian; second photo (L to R): Dr. Elan Goldwaser; Dr. William Levine; Dr. Morgan Busko; Dr. Sean Lynch; Dr. David Kovacevic.

Photos courtesy NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital
 
Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.


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Cancer Support Team 'Celebrate Spring' Event at Bronxville Field Club in May PDF Print Email

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By Tania Weiss, Executive Director, Cancer Support Team 


Apr. 17, 2019:  On May 9, friends, supporters, and staff of Cancer Support Team will “celebrate spring,” at the Bronxville Field Club. Bronxville resident Sue Formato is chairing the event; Cancer Support Team is pleased to be honoring Judy Boyle and Bonnie Gould, two extraordinary volunteers who will receive the Making Miracles Happen Award.

CST board chair Lisa Edmiston noted that “Judy and Bonnie have been part of the fabric of CST for decades. Each has helped further our mission to enhance the lives of cancer patients and their families throughout Southern Westchester. Whether volunteering to drive our patients to medical treatments or assisting with fundraising events, both are dedicated to our cause, and we want to publicly recognize their contributions and thank them for their years of service.”

Judy Boyle (New Rochelle) volunteered to visit cancer patients over thirty years ago. When CST expanded and needed another full-time nurse, Judy joined the team. Today she continues to be a force for Cancer Support Team by working on fundraising events, including serving on the planning committee for the annual Gayle K. Lee Health Awareness Luncheon as well as the biannual gala. When reflecting on her work with CST, Judy remarks, “I am inspired by the dedication of the team and have learned so much from my patient experience. It’s true, when you give, you get so much more in return.”

Bonnie Gould (Scarsdale), a retired nurse and educator, has also worked tirelessly on CST’s events, even co-chairing The Health Awareness Luncheon. She has been a board member for five years and continues to drive cancer patients to and from chemo and radiation. “The patients are always thankful, not just because the rides make their lives a little easier, but they have the opportunity to talk and to share. We develop a relationship.”

Both honorees also “spread the word” about Cancer Support Team. As Bonnie says, “I have always been an ambassador of CST. The agency is an invaluable resource, and the team continues to deliver the highest quality of care. I am so proud to be associated with CST.”

Cancer Support Team® provides nursing, social work counseling, and case management services at any stage of the disease at no cost and without regard to insurance coverage. It is a Westchester County licensed nonprofit home health care organization that has been enhancing the quality of life for individuals and families affected by cancer for over forty years. Cancer Support Team also provides transportation and financial assistance when needed.

As a nonprofit charitable organization, financial support comes from individual donors, events, and grants. Cancer Support Team is a grantee of The Community Fund of Bronxville, Eastchester and Tuckahoe and is very grateful for The Community Fund’s support.

For more information about the Cancer Support Team, please go to www.cancersupportteam.org or call Executive Director Tania Weiss at 914-777-2777.

Pictured here: Bonnie Gould (L) and Judy Boyle.

Photo courtesy Cancer Support Team

Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.

 
The Counseling Center to Honor Rosanne Welshimer at Annual Benefit PDF Print Email

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By Ellen Edwards, Member, Board of Directors, The Counseling Center


Apr. 10, 2019:  The Counseling Center is delighted to host its annual benefit on Friday, May 3, at the Bronxville Field Club from 6:00 to 8:00 pm.  

This year, we are thrilled to honor Rosanne Welshimer, whose many years of service have made an enduring contribution to The Counseling Center and to the Village of Bronxville. Guests will have the chance to enjoy cocktails and hors d’oeuvres while participating in a raffle as well as in silent and live auctions for theater tickets, two nights in a posh Manhattan hotel, personalized museum tours, and many other luxury gift items and customized events.

Thanks to four generous families who are sponsoring this year’s benefit, all the proceeds will go to support the important work of The Counseling Center, a nonprofit community resource founded in 1971. 

The center’s exceptional staff of trained psychotherapists--a staff distinguished by its many years of experience--provides individual psychotherapy, marriage counseling, family and child therapy, and pastoral counseling. 

Funds raised at the benefit will also support The Counseling Center’s fee subsidy program, which allows it to offer reduced-fee treatment to people who qualify from Bronxville and its neighboring communities. The mission of The Counseling Center is to provide high-quality mental health treatment to all people in need who seek its services.

Rosanne Welshimer is well known for her many years of service in Bronxville, including at The Reformed Church of Bronxville, where in addition to assuming many top leadership roles, she has also taught fourth-grade church school for more than thirty-four years. She has also served as board president of the Bronxville Public Library and has served on the board of The Counseling Center, to which she gave her time and energy for many years, culminating as its president. She is equally well known for her chocolate chip cookies, which she baked for The Reformed Church’s soup kitchen for twenty-six years. Rosanne’s leadership, dedication, and warm friendship have helped ensure that The Counseling Center is able to continue its important work.

The upcoming benefit offers a reminder of what a valuable resource Bronxville has in The Counseling Center. The center specializes in serious mental health challenges, including major depression, anxiety/panic disorder, eating disorders, bipolar illness, self-injury, and addiction. In some of these cases, short-term, focused psychotherapy is appropriate; in others, longer-term, more intensive therapy is advised. Many other people seek help with the common challenges of life--troubled relationships, life transitions, or a desire for more meaning and balance. Sometimes in just a few sessions, clients find the clarity and reassurance they are seeking.

The Counseling Center offers a welcoming, comfortable, safe, and confidential place to get help. In addition to its offices in The Reformed Church of Bronxville on Pondfield Road, it has offices in Scarsdale, Riverdale, and New York City. 

For more information about services offered by The Counseling Center, visit www.counselingcenter.org or contact its clinical director, Dr. Jane Benjamin, PhD, at 914-793-3388, ext. 122. 

To purchase tickets to The Counseling Center's benefit, please contact Sue Perry at 914-793-3388, ext. 101, or click here.  

Pictured here:  Gail Cook (L) and Anne Coyle Lemberger, co-chairs of The Counseling Center Benefit Committee. 

Photo courtesy The Counseling Center


Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.


 
Bronxville School to Field Team to Participate in Autism Speaks Walk: Link to Join Team PDF Print Email

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By David Pasquale, Bronxville School Parent


Apr. 10, 2019:  The Bronxville School will field a team for the Autism Speaks Walk on Sunday, June 2, 2019, at the scenic NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital grounds in White Plains. All students, educators, administrators, and parents are welcome to join the team as participants, donors, or both. The walk is scheduled to begin at 10:00 am, with registration and opening ceremonies starting at 9:00 am. Free parking is available for all participants at 333 Westchester Avenue in White Plains.

Click here to join the Bronxville School Team to Walk on June 2 or to donate

Photo courtesy David Pasquale



Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.

 
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