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Surviving the Holidays PDF Print Email

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By Sherry Saturno, Executive Director, Gramatan Village

Nov. 13, 2019:  The holidays are stressful for anyone who has family. Holidays are equally trying for those of us who do not have family. Everyone knows that you can’t choose your family, but you have the power to control what effect family has upon your life and set boundaries regarding behaviors that you will or won’t accept.

Can you make a family out of friends? Absolutely. Through the love and support of your friends, you can create something healthy and meaningful. What are the first steps?

Reframe your thinking. Open your mind. Family does not mean only one thing. Family is more than biology. Family is who has your back and who is there for you in good and bad times. If you are estranged from family, take small steps to connect more closely with other people in your life.

How can you establish your Friend Family?

Value the people that you have in your life and express what they mean to you. Don’t hesitate to tell them how important they are to you. Your Friend Family can be small. Two people? Fantastic! We’re after quality, not quantity.

It’s the holidays, and I’m lonely. What do I do?

Acknowledge that holidays can be difficult. Some days are going to be tough. Accept any invitations that come your way and just say yes. Make plans in advance and keep them. Celebrate holidays on your own terms, and if that means a movie marathon with your friend, break out the popcorn.

Recognize that loneliness is a feeling and not a permanent state of being.

Understand that you are not alone, and many people share your feelings.

Choose to be the hero of your life, not the victim. You have to be willing to fight for the life that you want and take risks to achieve it.

Rethink your expectations. Steer clear from Hallmark movies about perfect holidays.

Be kind to yourself, but practice tough love. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in self-pity. You’re alone on Thanksgiving? Go to a food pantry and help people in need to celebrate the holiday. When you lose yourself in helping others, you will find something greater than yourself.

Use technology to connect with others in similar situations. Need someone to talk to? Try engaging in friendly phone calls, and check ouhttps://covia.org/services/well-connected/ 

Be grateful for every day. Tomorrow is not a guarantee.

Consider meeting with a professional counselor to talk about how you feel.

Anais Nin wrote, “The secret to a full life is to live and relate to others as if they might not be there tomorrow, as if you might not be there tomorrow.” Create new traditions, and don’t look back. You can do it.


Note about the author: Sherry Saturno is the Executive Director of Gramatan Village in Bronxville. She is licensed as a Nursing Home Administrator and Clinical Social Worker


Photo:  Shutterstock


Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.

 

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Adult Education Directory

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About the Bronxville Adult School & Contacts

The Bronxville Adult School is a not-for-profit organization incorporated in 1957 and chartered by the New York State Board of Regents. The School "offers all adults of Bronxville and surrounding communities the opportunity for personal growth through life enhancing skills and provides cultural, intellectual and recreational stimulation at a nominal cost."

The Bronxville Adult School
(914) 793-4435
email: adultschool@bronxvilleschool.org
www.bronxvilleadultschool.org
P.O. Box 334, Bronxville NY 10708

Bronxville Public Library

Bronxville Public Library

The Bronxville Public Library traces its origins back to 1875, when it was a small lending library housed in a room attached to the “Bronxville Model School.” The Library was officially chartered in 1906 and moved into the Village Hall Building. The needs of the library grew with the town and, in 1942, a new standalone building was erected, which is where the Library is today. Over the years, the Library was renovated and expanded to meet the needs of the community.

The Library has wonderful resources for adults and children and offers a comfortable and relaxing environment. The Library also houses a fine art collection, consisting principally of Bronxville painters and sculptors.

The Library offers special events, art exhibitions, and programs for adults, young adults and children.  All events are open to the public, unless otherwise indicated.

The Bronxville Public Library
914-337-7680
201 Pondfield Road (Midland Avenue & Pondfield Road)
http://bronxvillelibrary.org/

Concordia College

Concordia College Adult Education

Concordia College was founded in 1881. It is a four-year, co-educational liberal arts college located in Bronxville. Concordia's Accelerated Degree Programs are designed to give you the skills to be competitive in your chosen career or in graduate school. 

Concordia College - New York
171 White Plains Road
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http://www.concordia-ny.edu/

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https://www.sarahlawrence.edu/

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