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New Year’s Resolutions: Why They Often Fail and How To Make Them Succeed |
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By Jane Benjamin, PhD, The Counseling Center
Mar. 6, 2019: Ask any fitness club manager or “regular” at a gym, and you’ll learn that mid-February is generally the time when the folks who joined on January 1 start to fade away. They may have initially come to work out on a daily basis, but now they’re nowhere to be found. They may have started 2019 with absolute resolve and commitment only to lose momentum a month later.
New year’s resolutions can focus on any area of life but are most often aimed at exercise, weight loss, poor money management, or the habitual use of a substance (cigarettes, coffee, sugar, alcohol, drugs). Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list; sometimes resolutions focus on relationships: “I want to spend more quality time with my family”; “I want to focus more on my marital relationship”; “I want to see my good friends more often”; “I want to yell at my teenager less often.” But more often than not, new year’s resolutions involve summoning the self-discipline to relinquish a bad habit or start a healthy one. What tends to make new year’s resolutions so short-lived? And how can we increase the possibility of success?
The fact that the holiday season is the lead-up to the new year and that over-indulgence is such a common practice during this season can make people all the more focused and absolute about setting on a new course come January 1. But this ramping up of determination may not be as helpful as it sounds. Experiencing a huge surge of motivation may begin as a good thing, but it can cause people to set goals too high or to attempt to change too much at once.
If you decide that early 2019 is the time to stop eating sweets, stop drinking, and exercise five days a week, there’s a good chance you’ll fail. Some people are able to revamp their lives in one fell swoop, but most cannot alter three major habits at once. It makes us feel good to set the bar high and decide to make major changes, but we’re much more likely to succeed if we divide these goals into much smaller increments. So, for example, rather than telling yourself, “I will be at the gym every weekday,” begin with, “I will take a 15-minute walk near my house four days each week,” and see how that goes. Instead of saying, “No more dessert ever,” begin with “no dessert on weekdays, but yes, on weekends.”
It’s important to remember that it’s very difficult to maintain a state of deprivation for the long haul. Pure will power can start us off, but it won’t be enough to keep us going. Much like holding one’s breath, at some point the urge to inhale becomes overwhelming. Therefore, you may find it especially helpful to figure out what you will be getting, not just giving up. If you’re trying to quit smoking, you might think about what will become possible once cigarettes are out of the picture. Perhaps you’ve wanted to take a Zumba class or run a 3K race. Maybe after a few months without smoking, you’ll have the lung capacity to actually accomplish one of these physical challenges. If you’re trying to manage your money more responsibly and spend less on frivolous items, remind yourself that each month, you can pay down that credit card debt and put away some of that saved money towards the trip you’ve always dreamed of taking. In other words, think about what changing this habit opens up for you. What is possible now that was not before?
Try not to over-think a resolution. Often people look for the “perfect” time to start, justifying the delay by saying, “I can’t start a diet this weekend; I’ve had a stressful week” or “My life is difficult enough without trying to rein in my spending, too.” All of us find ways to explain and justify the continuation of habitual behavior. Rather than pondering the process, just begin in some small way--take a short walk, skip dessert tonight, don’t hit the “buy” button on Amazon. Action will beget action and begin the momentum that can lead to sustained change.
Finally, when changing any habit, expect lapses and mistakes. When they happen, take note and continue on without drawing erroneous conclusions. Don’t despair. The natural tendency is to tell yourself that a single failure means that this is just too hard or that now is not the right time to be tackling this resolution. In fact, a lapse just means that change is a rocky, non-linear process and that forging ahead is the best course of action.
Pictured here: Jane Benjamin.
Photo courtesy The Counseling Center.
Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff.
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 By Jane Benjamin, PhD, The Counseling Center Dec. 4, 2019: For many people, the beginning of the holiday season is filled with excitement and anticipation. Family gatherings are planned;... Read more |
Healthcare Services Directory
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Sunrise Senior Living 500 North Columbus Avenue Mount Vernon, New York 10552 914-667-5660 www.sunriseseniorliving.com The Osborn 101 Theall Road Rye, New York 10580 914-921-2200 www.theosborn.org
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The Bereavement Center of Westchester
670 White Plains Road Scarsdale, New York 10707 (914) 787-6158
www.thebereavementcenter.org
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The Maxwell Institute
The Maxwell Institute of St. Vincent's Westchester offers outpatient chemical dependency treatment and education services for adults, adolescents and their families. Treatment includes individual and group psychotherapy, couples counseling, and psychiatric evaluation and medication management when indicated. The Institute welcomes individuals and family members who are experiencing marital and/or work-related distress as a result of alcoholism and other forms of chemical dependency.
The Maxwell Institute also offers community education services through its programs in drug and alcohol prevention in the schools. For persons wishing to become credentialed alcoholism and substance abuse counselors (CASACS) in New York State, the "Maxtrain" program provides the 350 classroom education hours that are an important part of the credentialing requirements.
The Maxwell Institute is grateful for the support of The Community Fund of Bronxville-Eastchester-Tuckahoe.
92 Yonkers Ave Tuckahoe, NY 10707 (914) 337-6033
www.stvincentswestchester.org/maxwell
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Counseling Center
Founded in 1971, the mission of the Counseling Center “is to provide a wide range of psychotherapeutic and counseling services to individuals, couples and families by a staff of highly trained, experience and dedicated psychotherapists. Director: Virgil Roberson The Counseling Center 180 Pondfield Road Bronxville, New York 10708 914-793-3388 www.counselingcenter.org
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Dr. Henry A. Blom
10 Studio Arcade Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-1157

Bronxville Dental Care
Jenny A. Kanganis, D.D.S.
Guy N. Minoli, D.D.S.
Since 1994, Dr. Kanganis and Dr. Minoli of Bronxville Dental Care have been leaders in the dental community, providing exceptional dentistry to generations of Bronxville families. They have a long history of excellence and have earned a reputation built on trust, compassion, and dedication. Drs. Kanganis and Minoli believe in a conservative, holistic, and minimally invasive approach to dentistry. Bronxville Dental Care welcomes patients of all ages and offers a comprehensive range of services, including cosmetic and restorative dentistry, implants, and pediatric dentistry. Dr. Kanganis especially loves treating children. As a mother herself of two recent Bronxville High School grads, she understands the importance of helping children to feel comfortable during their visits, while earning their trust and teaching them to become active participants in their oral health.
20 Studio Arcade
Bronxville, New York 10708
(914) 337-6536 www.bronxvilledentalcare.com
Dr. Anthony Fiore
44 Pondfield Road Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-3863
Dr. Quentin M. Murphy
77 Pondfield Road Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-1004
Scarsdale Pediatric Dental
777 Post Rd. Scarsdale, NY 10583-5000 Phone: 914. 472. 9090 http://www.scarsdalepediatricdental.com/
Dr. Michael J. Vitale
1 Pondfield Road Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-8430
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Dr. Lesa Kelly 77 Quaker Ridge Road New Rochelle, New York 914-637-2663 Dr. Neil Goldberg 77 Pondfield Road Ste 2 Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-4499
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Dr. Mark Fox ENT and Allergy Associates 1 Elm Street Tuckahoe, New York 10707 914-961-2515
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Lawrence Home Care of Westchester
670 White Plains Road Scarsdale, NY 10707 (914) 787-6158 www.lawrencehomecare.org
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Jansen Hospice and Pallative Care
670 White Plains Road Scarsdale, New York 10583 (914) 787-6158 www.jansenhospice.org
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NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital
In July 2014, Lawrence Hospital and NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital established a new relationship aimed at enhancing care, improving access and lowering health care costs for residents of Bronxville and surrounding communities in Westchester County. Lawrence was renamed NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital.
Lawrence Hospital Center was founded in 1909 and is a 291-bed acute care facility with over 1100 employees and 400 physicians. It provides emergency care to approximately 35,000 individuals every year. It became a designated New York State Stroke Center in 2006. Its physicians provide expertise in virtually every area of medical specialty and include over 100 primary care physicians. And, Lawrence delivers about 2000 babies every year in the home-like setting of newly designed Labor and Delivery recovery rooms.
Outpatient services include diagnostic testing and laboratory services, ambulatory surgery options, and rehabilitation and sports medicine services. The Hospital has a Women`s Imaging Center where female patients receive diagnostic services in a private setting. Outpatient physical therapy, lymphedema therapy, speech and occupational therapy services are provided both on-site at the Hospital and at Lawrence`s satellite center, The Center for Rehabilitation and Sports Medicine, in Scarsdale.
The Hospital is accredited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations. The Hospital is fully licensed by the New York State Department of Health. Lawrence`s laboratory is accredited by the College of American Pathologists.
55 Palmer Avenue 914-787-1000 (main number)
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Dr. Anne Galloway 77 Pondfield Road Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-4986 Dr. Kerrianne Page 14 Studio Arcade 914-779-9066 Dr. Raymond Chow 700 White Plains Road Scarsdale, New York 914-723-2446
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Dr. Polly Kanganis
4 Studio Arcade, Bronxville, NY 10708 Bronxville, New York 10708 914-771-9441
Dr. Thomas J. Rubeo Jr. MD Bronxville Women's Care, Pllc One Pondfield Road, Suite 302 Bronxville, NY 10708 914-337-3715
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Dr. Patricia Halloran 55 Park Avenue Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-1239 Dr. Joseph Ciccio 1 Pondfield Road Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-4700
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Dr. Peter Rizzo
77 Pondfield Road 914-337-1118
Dr. Michael Elia
1 Stone Place Bronxville, New York 10708 914-337-3976
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Westchester Health Pediatrics (formerly Children’s Medical Practice of Bronxville) 1 Elm Street Tuckahoe, New York 10707 914-337-7474
Scarsdale Pediatric Associates 2 Overhill Road Suite 220 Scarsdale, New York 10580 914-725-0800
Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine 495 Central Avenue Scarsdale, New York 914-725-7555
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