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Tips for Handling the Empty Nest PDF Print Email

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By James Ellis, PhD, The Counseling Center


Feb. 13, 2019:  For those of us who are parents, the “empty nest” is the period of life when our children come of age and leave home, usually to go to college or work. This period of life transition may leave us with a good deal of pride as we witness our children’s independence, but it is often accompanied by feelings of sadness, loneliness, and sometimes depression. Child-rearing is an all-out prodigal investment that can never truly be repaid. When we launch our children, we may feel like bystanders at best and no longer needed at worst. So, as with any loss of this magnitude, we need to give ourselves the time and space to grieve and heal.

Some parents find the empty nest harder than others. For example, people who have had painful experiences of separations in the past may bring high anxiety to the looming separation of the empty nest, while people living in enmeshed family systems may not have learned how to differentiate from their children and may find themselves clinging rather than letting go. In both situations, parents may benefit from guidance about healthy ways to support their children’s transition to adulthood. It is normal for the empty nest to bring heightened emotions to the surface, including loss and uncertainty, as our role as a parent changes from one of overseeing children’s lives to becoming a consultant to them. Whatever the root causes of our anxieties, parents should be encouraged during this launching phase to work toward seeing their children not just as extensions of themselves but as separate individuals in their own right who have their own hopes and dreams.

While it is important to claim our experience of sadness, it is also important to realize that the empty nest does not mark the end of the relationship with our children but rather the end of one chapter in our lives and the beginning of a new one. Now is the time to engage in new activities that establish meaning and purpose for the road ahead. It’s a time to develop friendships and hobbies, pursue career and educational opportunities, or embark on long-postponed vacations. It’s a time to enter into a new role with our children.

Perhaps the following ideas can help parents cope with their empty nest experience:

Stay in touch with your children when they leave home – that’s one of the great advantages of modern technology: texting and Facetime make it easier to keep an emotional connection over long distances.

Accept your new role – remember your children have their own lives to live and you do, too.

Seek support – don’t isolate yourself with your feelings of loneliness. Get involved. Get involved in your faith community and in community activities. Create new structures of importance for this new chapter of your life. If you need help, remember that therapy and other supports are available.

Practice gratitude – try to focus on the things you are grateful for instead of pining after things that are no longer available to you.

The empty nest is one of life’s milestones. Like any other transition in life, it’s important to acknowledge its sadness, move through the mourning, and choose new adventures that pave the way for our future self and life. And, if transitioning through this time is difficult, reach out for support or counseling. What we do with our feelings about the empty nest is like so much else in life: this time of life will become what we make of it! 

Editor's note: As a public service, MyhometownBronxville publishes articles from local institutions, officeholders, and individuals. MyhometownBronxville does not fact-check statements therein, and any opinions expressed therein do not necessarily reflect the thinking of its staff. 

 

Over 200 High School Students and Parents Attend Careers in Medicine Event

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By Josefa Paganuzzi, Thompson & Bender, for NewYork-Presbyterian Lawrence Hospital May 15, 2019:  More than 200 high school students and parents, including over a dozen students from Bronxville, attended the...

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Assisted Living Facilities

Sunrise Senior Living

500 North Columbus Avenue
Mount Vernon, New York 10552
914-667-5660

www.sunriseseniorliving.com


The Osborn

101 Theall Road
Rye, New York 10580
914-921-2200

www.theosborn.org

Bereavement

The Bereavement Center of Westchester

670 White Plains Road
Scarsdale, New York 10707 
(914) 787-6158

www.thebereavementcenter.org

Chemical Dependency Services

The Maxwell Institute

The Maxwell Institute of St. Vincent's Westchester offers outpatient chemical dependency treatment and education services for adults, adolescents and their families. Treatment includes individual and group psychotherapy, couples counseling, and psychiatric evaluation and medication management when indicated. The Institute welcomes individuals and family members who are experiencing marital and/or work-related distress as a result of alcoholism and other forms of chemical dependency.

The Maxwell Institute also offers community education services through its programs in drug and alcohol prevention in the schools. For persons wishing to become credentialed alcoholism and substance abuse counselors (CASACS) in New York State, the "Maxtrain" program provides the 350 classroom education hours that are an important part of the credentialing requirements.

The Maxwell Institute is grateful for the support of The Community Fund of Bronxville-Eastchester-Tuckahoe.

92 Yonkers Ave
Tuckahoe, NY 10707
(914) 337-6033

www.stvincentswestchester.org/maxwell

 

 

Counseling Services

Counseling Center

Founded in 1971, the mission of the Counseling Center “is to provide a wide range of psychotherapeutic and counseling services to individuals, couples and families by a staff of highly trained, experience and dedicated psychotherapists.
Director: Virgil Roberson

The Counseling Center
180 Pondfield Road Bronxville,
New York 10708
914-793-3388

www.counselingcenter.org

Dentists

Dr. Henry A. Blom

10 Studio Arcade
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-1157


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Bronxville Dental Care

Jenny A.  Kanganis, D.D.S.

Guy N. Minoli, D.D.S.

Since 1994, Dr. Kanganis and Dr. Minoli of Bronxville Dental Care have been leaders in the dental community, providing exceptional dentistry to generations of Bronxville families. They have a long history of excellence and have earned a reputation built on trust, compassion, and dedication. Drs. Kanganis and Minoli believe in a conservative, holistic, and minimally invasive approach to dentistry. Bronxville Dental Care welcomes patients of all ages and offers a comprehensive range of services, including cosmetic and restorative dentistry, implants, and pediatric dentistry. Dr. Kanganis especially loves treating children. As a mother herself of two recent Bronxville High School grads, she understands the importance of helping children to feel comfortable during their visits, while earning their trust and teaching them to become active participants in their oral health.

20 Studio Arcade

Bronxville, New York 10708

(914) 337-6536 
www.bronxvilledentalcare.com


Dr. Anthony Fiore

44 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-3863


Dr. Quentin M. Murphy

77 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-1004


Scarsdale Pediatric Dental

777 Post Rd.
Scarsdale, NY 10583-5000 
Phone: 914. 472. 9090 
http://www.scarsdalepediatricdental.com/


Dr. Michael J. Vitale

1 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-8430

 

Dermatology

Dr. Lesa Kelly

77 Quaker Ridge Road
New Rochelle, New York
914-637-2663


Dr. Neil Goldberg

77 Pondfield Road Ste 2
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-4499

Ear, Nose and Throat

Dr. Mark Fox

ENT and Allergy Associates
1 Elm Street
Tuckahoe, New York 10707
914-961-2515

Home Care

Lawrence Home Care of Westchester

670 White Plains Road
Scarsdale, NY 10707
(914) 787-6158
www.lawrencehomecare.org

 

Hospice

Jansen Hospice and Pallative Care

670 White Plains Road
Scarsdale, New York 10583
(914) 787-6158
www.jansenhospice.org

Hospitals

New York Presbyterian/Lawrence Hospital

In July 2014, Lawrence Hospital and New York-Presbyterian Hospital established a new relationship aimed at enhancing care, improving access and lowering health care costs for residents of Bronxville and surrounding communities in Westchester County. Lawrence was renamed New York-Presbyterian/Lawrence Hospital.

Lawrence Hospital Center was founded in 1909 and is a 291-bed acute care facility with over 1100 employees and 400 physicians. It provides emergency care to approximately 35,000 individuals every year.   It became a designated New York State Stroke Center in 2006.  Its physicians provide expertise in virtually every area of medical specialty and include over 100 primary care physicians. And, Lawrence delivers about 2000 babies every year in the home-like setting of newly designed Labor and Delivery recovery rooms.

Outpatient services include diagnostic testing and laboratory services, ambulatory surgery options, and rehabilitation and sports medicine services. The Hospital has a Women`s Imaging Center where female patients receive diagnostic services in a private setting. Outpatient physical therapy, lymphedema therapy, speech and occupational therapy services are provided both on-site at the Hospital and at Lawrence`s satellite center, The Center for Rehabilitation and Sports Medicine, in Scarsdale.

The Hospital is accredited by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations. The Hospital is fully licensed by the New York State Department of Health. Lawrence`s laboratory is accredited by the College of American Pathologists.

55 Palmer Avenue
914-787-1000 (main number)

Internal Medicine Physician

Dr. Anne Galloway

77 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-4986


Dr. Kerrianne Page

14 Studio Arcade
914-779-9066


Dr. Raymond Chow

700 White Plains Road
Scarsdale, New York
914-723-2446

Obstetrician/Gynecologist

Dr. Polly Kanganis

4 Studio Arcade, Bronxville, NY 10708
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-771-9441


Dr. Thomas J. Rubeo Jr. MD
Bronxville Women's Care, Pllc
One Pondfield Road, Suite 302
Bronxville, NY 10708
914-337-3715

Orthodontists

Dr. Patricia Halloran

55 Park Avenue
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-1239


Dr. Joseph Ciccio

1 Pondfield Road
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-4700

Orthopedics

Dr. Peter Rizzo

77 Pondfield Road
914-337-1118


Dr. Michael Elia

1 Stone Place
Bronxville, New York 10708
914-337-3976

Pediatricians

Westchester Health Pediatrics (formerly Children’s Medical Practice of Bronxville)
1 Elm Street
Tuckahoe, New York 10707
914-337-7474


Scarsdale Pediatric Associates
2 Overhill Road Suite 220
Scarsdale, New York 10580
914-725-0800


Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine
495 Central Avenue
Scarsdale, New York
914-725-7555

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