Anyone Remember the Piano in the Bronx River?
Pictured: Piano in the Bronx River. In the background of this photo, you can see the remains of Pe Pa's bridge, which was washed away by Hurricane Ida.
Note: The following tale is a work of fiction, except for the piano in the Bronx River, which actually happened and is the inspiration behind this tale. Nobody should be concerned about the well-being of Mr. Hesselbacher, who no longer practices nor plays the piano.
By Ken Hesselbacher, also known by Pe Pa by his grandchildren
June 15, 2022: As of this report, legendary concert pianist, Ken Hesselbacher, remains missing. Sandy, his wife, said he was playing piano in his study late into the night. In order to maintain his piano skills at the highest level, Hesselbacher would frequently practice all through the night.
Ken Hesselbacher and his piano
When Sandy entered his studio early this morning, both Hesselbacher and his mini-Steinway were gone. Suspecting that something was amiss, Sandy immediately contacted the police. Later in the morning, the police advised that they had located the piano in the middle of the Bronx River, which runs next to Hesselbacher's residence.
Mrs. Hesselbacher was thrilled to learn that the Steinway had been recovered and started arrangements to have it restored to its original condition. "I am so relieved that the piano was recovered," she stated, "Not only does it have sentimental value, it is worth a pretty penny!"
While she remains concerned regarding the safe return of her husband, she takes solace from the expression, "a bad penny always turns up." If a bad penny always turns up, she believes that "a bad Kenny will also turn up!"
In the background of this photo, you can see the remains of Pe Pa's bridge, which was washed away by Hurricane Ida. But that, as they say, is another story for another time.
This tale is mostly a work of fiction, and nobody should be concerned about the well-being of Mr. Hesselbacher, who no longer practices nor plays the piano.
Government & History Directory
Bronxville is a quaint village (one square mile) located just 16 miles north of midtown Manhattan (roughly 30 minutes on the train) and has a population of approximately 6,500. It is known as a premier community with an excellent public school (K-12) and easy access to Manhattan. Bronxville offers many amenities including an attractive business district, a hospital (Lawrence Hospital), public paddle and tennis courts, fine dining at local restaurants, two private country clubs and a community library.
While the earliest settlers of Bronxville date back to the first half of the 18th century, the history of the modern suburb of Bronxville began in 1890 when William Van Duzer Lawrence purchased a farm and commissioned the architect, William A. Bates, to design a planned community of houses for well-known artists and professionals that became a thriving art colony. This community, now called Lawrence Park, is listed on the National register of Historic Places and many of the homes still have artists’ studios. A neighborhood association within Lawrence Park called “The Hilltop Association” keeps this heritage alive with art shows and other events for neighbors.
Bronxville offers many charming neighborhoods as well as a variety of living options for residents including single family homes, town houses, cooperatives and condominiums. One of the chief benefits of living in “the village” is that your children can attend the Bronxville School.
The Bronxville postal zone (10708, known as “Bronxville PO”) includes the village of Bronxville as well as the Chester Heights section of Eastchester, parts of Tuckahoe and the Lawrence Park West, Cedar Knolls, Armour Villa and Longvale sections of Yonkers. Many of these areas have their own distinct character. For instance, the Armour Villa section has many historic homes and even has its own newsletter called “The Villa Voice” which reports on neighborhood news.
Village of Bronxville Administrative Offices
337-6500
Open 9:00am - 4pm excluding holidays and weekends
Bronxville Police Department
337-0500
Open 24 hours
Bronxville Parking Violations
337-2024
Open 9:00am - 4pm excluding holidays and weekends
Bronxville Fire Deparment
793-6400
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